| General | The following definitions are unofficial and unsanctioned by the TPMC President (but he probably agrees with them all) and are subject to revision and hate mail at any time.
With any group or organization the Timber Point Men's Club (TPMC) has its own shorthand terminology to describe large and HIGHLY IMPORTANT concepts. The following is a list of the most important terms that all and especially new members must be aware of! If any existing members realize that some important term has been left out, please advise! |
| ShizNick | Any vegetation where your ball has gone into, that you really wish it hadn't. |
| Fugazy | Descriptive term, used mostly by low handicap members, describing any handicap that is higher than their own. Also used by any member to describe another members handicap that is fully 'Winterized' or worse (see 'Winterized' and 'Sandbagger' below) |
| Sandbagger | Ron Schmucker!!, Alternate: Anyone who beats you in your Nassau or wins money in the Hat Pool |
| Sandbagger In Chief | 2021 Sandbagger Index Leader == Ron Schmucker!! |
| A Fritz | Any Time a member makes a last minute run to the restroom, making him late for his Tee Time. (made famous by our beloved member, you guessed it, Joe Fritz) |
| Bump Everywhere | Whenever course conditions are such that good lies are impossible anywhere, it may be decided by our President to allow members to improve their lies where ever their balls may come to rest. It is also declared by John Mann anytime he feels like it. |
| Delewing | The act of taking time out from your speedy round of golf to search for lost balls in the Shiznick...or a water hazard... or anywhere else you choose. (made famous by our beloved member Bruce Delew) |
| Barbequing | Any time a member is seen as stopping for a hamburger, pulled pork or piece of chicken from a hot grill during a round... or any time a member or group are observed not keeping up with a reasonable pace of play. |
| Winterizing | As the golf season winds down (or for Andy Azzato anytime of the year) a players handicap may be drifting upwards to higher numbers in anticipation of playing well the following Spring Time when he'll then be getting strokes he ~really~ doesn't need and shouldn't have thus taking money home from the hatpool that he doesn't need... and shouldn't have. |
| Thursday Rules | Rules that have been generated by splinter groups of the TPMC who play on Thursday. Generally, similar to 'Bump Everywhere' but with the addition of free drops out of the Shiznick, Out of Bounds, or anywhere/anytime you wanna 'do-over.' |
| Normal Day | If you have horizontal rain with gusts to 30 mph, its a 'Normal Day' at Timber Point. |
| Leaf Rule | During Fall Golf or after a 'Normal Day' there are often leaves on the course. If you hit your ball into an area where there is more than one leaf, and you cannot find your ball, you can drop a ball where you think it 'should be' and play from that point without penalty. |
| Mann Stick | Soooo, the time honored tradition, that is actually written into USGA rules, of conceding a putt to a fellow competitor is actually legislated and mandatorily parametized by the TPMC through the use of a perfectly measured orange stick to be used by all members whenever the distance from a players ball to the nearest edge of the cup is in question. If the stick would hit the ball as it was extended from the edge of the cup to his ball (e.g., 'the ball is inside the stick'), the player must accept the award and pick up his ball. the measured stick is intended to speed play and to alleviate any question as to whether the player must putt his ball to complete the hole. |
| 5 for 4, 4 for 3, 3 for 2. And, 5 for 3, 4 for 2, 3 for 1. And (God Help US) 2 for 0 | When uttered by a Higher Handicap player, all these terms are all 'in your face', 'God Damn I'm Good', prideful, exclamations usually spoken gleefully, with a smile and hint of a giggle, when that player's handicap aided score wins or halves a hole. And, if ANNOUNCED by a Low Handicap Player any one of these is similar to saying 'Fuck You and that Fugazy Handicap You Rode in With. |
| 'Get In The Trap!!' | A warm and encouraging cheer sent out to an opposing player's ball as it heads towards the green. |
| Jerry's Kids | Any group of members playing with Roy Evola whose Handicaps have more than one digit (and who are near or beyond retirement age). |